1. |
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My head is a prison
that nobody visits
i’m stuck in this hell
and I can’t find an exit
I wish things were different
I wish I could help it
stress keeps building
I can’t fucking fix this
I'm a victim to my own mind
anxious all the damn time
not too far from the edge
i'm hanging by a fine line
i'm a stranger in my own skin
unhinged emotions
what's it like to feel real?
I've lost it again
I’m obsessed with doing the wrong thing
I never learn from my mistakes, it’s a routine
i’ll always be second best, it’s something that I learned to live with
I am a train wreck
I guess I am who I am
I don’t expect you to understand
I can’t move on I can’t progress
Stuck in a standstill, i’m here stagnant
Relapsing on the aftermath of the old me
my old ways composed of demon limbs and a rope swing
can't snap out of it this the reality
of a lost mind with a destructive personality
useless and irrelevant
worthless and incompetent
intolerable and belligerent
I can't even make sense of it
i'm sick of everything (i'm sick sick sick of everything)
i'm sick of everything x2
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2. |
De/tached
02:54
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Hollow, i'm dead behind the eyes
Barely breathing, i'm hardly alive
My pain is constant, i'm addicted to the hurt
Set aside my emotions, they never come first
Should I get my hopes up? Should I not?
Sometimes the doubt in my mind is all that I've got
I always think the worst, jumping to conclusions
I can’t help, but to expect disappointment
I want to turn it all off, I wish I didn’t feel at all
Welcome in what gets under my skin and I know it’s all my fault
Fuck my flaws I know that this is all wrong
condescend my confidence and I can’t help that i’m a walking contradiction
Downing my prescriptions, undermining my condition
So what?
i'm sick, deluded, nothing but a burden
to my family, my friends, i'm not a good person
And I can’t say that I fit in
And I can’t say that I do anything right
And I can’t say that i’m doing fine x2
Hollow, i'm dead behind the eyes
Barely breathing, i'm hardly alive
My pain is constant, i'm addicted to the hurt
Set aside my emotions, they never come first
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3. |
Subdued
02:58
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The last thing that went through my head
was a bullet I carved your name in
and I didn’t get into heaven
but I thought i’d let you know I wish I never let you in
Love oh we’ll never have enough, the insubstantial feeling that sustains you like a drug
Love, yeah it’s never enough it’s the chaos that controls you, and goes off like a loaded gun
Damaged goods, but still one of a kind
Deception lies within deceit you’re poison that resides
inside my mind, I think about it all the time
How i’m mentally destroyed, I deserved that right?
Getting use to the abuse, I can never be the same
Will you ever understand what you took away?
Love, something that I thought I could trust but I guess i’m the one that wasn’t enough
it just doesn’t make sense the people closest to you
Hurt you in ways you never thought that they would do
someone you thought you knew, someone you put your faith into
Become nothing more than a toxic presence that filled the room
A stranger now like everyone else
that took a piece of me just for there self
another person comfortable with wearing me out
I never gained the strength to just move on, why couldn’t I just walk out?
Settle for less, second best
something I should of expected
Settle for less, settle for less
Salt in the wound, i’m such a mess
Settle for less, second best
Oh look who guessed it
Settle for less, one last request
Tell me you love me, then rip my heart out of my chest
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4. |
Demon // Limbs
03:00
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Inability to cope with life effectively can’t pinpoint why
I’m worrying excessively
Overthinking was the death of me, mentally
checked out and forgotten all about rationality
Nothing makes sense in my head anymore
It’s all flooded with guilt and remorse
even with the most honorable intentions, I always seem to make a shitty impression
I have a love hate relationship with everything
Conflicted with the way I feel it’s unsettling
Feeling like dirt, feeling like that’s more then i’m worth
Feeling like this life’s even more then I deserve
Bitter relief bitter relief rid me of this unease
Bitter relief bitter relief tell me that it gets easy x2
The carousel never stops
Exhaustion clings onto every bone i’ve got
I’m too damaged to love, too broken to care
Emptiness is all that’s there x2
I have a love hate relationship with everything
Conflicted with the way I feel it’s unsettling
Feeling like dirt, feeling like that’s more then i’m worth
Feeling like this life’s even more then I deserve
laughing*
OH
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5. |
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Bury me in the deep six
deep breaths let it set in
tear my mind into pieces
just let me fall apart
Bury me in the deep six
deep breaths let it set in
tear my mind into pieces
watch me fall apart
clawing out, I can feel it on my finger tips
Let me inflict pain on others just like you did
We all suffer, in one way or another
and I know that I haven't really recovered
Rotting from the inside out
Still torn from all the ways that you let me down
again and again i’m sick and tired of it
and how your so fond of abandonment
Darkness my dear old friend
What welcomes you here again x2
Bury me in the deep six
deep breaths let it set in
tear my mind into pieces
just let me fall apart
Bury me in the deep six
deep breaths let it set in
tear my mind into pieces
watch me fall apart
i’m displaced in these moments cemented in time
Trying to find beauty behind these hollow eyes
I don’t know what I want anymore or what i’m looking for
Nothing helps, not even when the high takes it’s course
Even when the high takes it’s course
I’m still torn from all the fucked up things i’ve felt before
No expression, just going through the motions
I dance with death just to keep my relevance
Cut through cut through
Cut through cut through
erase all the things I do
Bury me in the deep six
deep breaths let it set in
tear my mind into pieces
just let me fall apart
Bury me in the deep six
watch me fall apart
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6. |
Know & Loathe
03:56
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I don’t understand anybody and nobody will ever understand me
and i’m tired of trying to explain myself because I don’t see
the point anymore
My feelings have escaped me
and I’ve come to terms that i’ll never amount to anything
All the effort I put forth is always for nothing
So fuck it,
Chorus:
Here’s to giving in and giving up
hating who you’ve become x2
I hate that I don’t belong
I hate that i’m just strung along
and I hate that I care for those who don’t care at all
I’m the one they all know and loathe
it’s not fair but that’s just how life goes x2
Here’s to giving in and to giving up
and never being good enough to anyone
I don't understand anybody
and nobody will ever understand me
I’m the one they all know and loathe
it’s not fair but that’s just how life goes x2
I’m the one they all know and loathe
and I hate that it’s all i’ll ever know
i’m always gonna be the odd man out
Three cheers for feeling sorry for our fucking selves
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7. |
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Incomplete, you completed me
but who am I kidding in reality you ruined me
I miss my innocence, wish I could fix this
gone beyond repair, desperations all that’s there
incomplete, you completed me
but who am i kidding in reality you ruined me
incomplete you completed me
OH
I still think of you often, even if you left me here to rot and
i’m trembling caught up in the worst days, I forget why i’m here in the first place
I’m trembling caught up in the worst days, I forgot why I even fucking chose to stay
I’m in pieces, I can’t keep myself together, so i’ll
forget about myself, why should I make an effort?
I’m coming undone, use me as you will
pull my strings, until my self esteem rebuilds
The guilt the guilt oh I know the drill
i’ll apologize for everything until time stands still
until time stands still, use me as you will
I still think of you often, even if you left me here to rot and
i’m trembling caught up in the worst days, I forget why i’m here in the first place
I’m trembling caught up in the worst days, I forgot why I even fucking chose to stay
Scathing takes shape in my brain, fathoming the senseless and the insane
With all that takes place rationality doesn’t feel the same
Psychotic break desperation is all that I know
Holding on to hoping I can eventually let go
I’m stressing over all the things I can’t control
Bending over backwards attempting to feel whole
My mind is wandering off tonight, my thoughts they decompose
This vacancy too comfortable for me to let go
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8. |
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I’ve about had it with my antics
overdramatic, and manic i’m unbalanced
Bitter romantic and problematic
might as well kill me while you’re at it
Defeated and hopeless
I’m sure most of you know this
Sedate me maybe then I won’t feel so empty
regressing to cope so that I can feel something
Defeated and hopeless
Tragedy at your service
Anxiety and anger you make me nervous
Come without warning and then leave when you feel like it
Killing my mood, killed off the smile
please why won’t you take me away for awhile
I can’t resist, this helpless bliss
mental demons hard to dismiss
Flirting with disaster, a still born bastard I don't matter
with nothing to show, a loser, a head case, with a headspace still sinking below
Still sinking below
i’m sinking below
sinking alone
I wanna be somebody else
sinking below, replace me
this mess i am
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna feel something inside me
rebuilding
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna feel something other than guilt
Am I gone? I can’t tell
Doing all that I can to lose myself
Mental demons hard to dismiss
troubled senses we coexist
It’s raining it’s pouring, the reaper is calling
and here I am still drowning
Needles and pins // Needles and pins
Insecurity builds, overthinking begins
Tell me when all of this ends
Dealing the devil’s hand again
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9. |
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Loss loss it’s all we’ve got
convince me you’re sorry when I know that you’re not
Damage is delt, life loses it’s cause
The will to move on comes at a cost
it comes at a cost
life comes at a cost
Loss loss it’s all we’ve got
convince me you’re sorry when I know that you’re not
those moments spent just between me and you
We both know they’ll never lose their value
I always fixate on things I can’t change
I’ve been stuck in the past for quite some time
Eternal sunshine of this spotless mind
Splitting my brain to pass the time
Wiping the slate clean, lobotomy will this fix me?
I always fixate on things I can’t change
I’ve been stuck in the past for quite some time
I remember the days when life was easy
now those days are just a feeling
that is slipping away, it hurts to just hold on
The people you love now the people you miss
all you can do is reminisce as sadness is revisited it’s ironic isn’t it
Loss loss
loss loss
loss loss it’s all we’ve got
convince me you’re sorry when I know that you’re not
the Damage is delt x4
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10. |
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Take me, make me feel nothing
Take me, here I lay empty
Mr. Sandman, still sick of being alone
My uncontrolled emotions still the only thing that makes me feel at home
Without you, I'm miserable at best
A chronic liar, a has been that won't give it a rest
Take me, make me feel nothing
Take me, here I lay empty
Mr. Sandman, what don't I know?
Still at rockbottom with nowhere to go
I'm hitting the bottle, I'm cutting it close
Transparent and reckless, you know how this goes
Please oh please can this be something else
Take me, Make me feel like nothing
Mr. Sandman, please please end my dream
Rid me from this wishful thinking
Wash away this empty feeling
Held my breath untill I couldn't breathe
Sewed my eyes shut and now I can't see
Cut my circulation until for years I've been numb
Pulled the trigger back and then I became someone!
Make me complete, yeah make me complete
The reaper reeled me in and I tried so hard to drown him out
but my sins seeped through my skin
And sitting here wondering
Will you save me from this hell I am in?
Take me, Make me feel like nothing
Mr. Sandman, please please end my dream
Take me here I lay empty, my thoughts are always so tempting.
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11. |
Anesthetic
03:11
|
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Time stands still while all our days fade
Watch life pass you by I bet your heart breaks
and you tell me that you’re okay?
Heart overshadowed by greed and disdain
i’ll forever pity the living
putting faith into a world that’s less then giving
you and me, we don’t mean anything
The good die young cause pain just leads to suffering x2
I’m suffocating with every breath
wishing that every moment wasn’t spent
Hoping that one day I can be that person again
Instead of turning into everything i’m against
I’m contorted overwhelmed by guilt and grief
One by one my friends becoming one with the deceased
Numb to the feeling, of losing everything
Pain is all I feel, please take away this suffering
Death take me x3
Someone you once knew lifeless,
buried down deep below in a casket
Asking yourself what happened
another tragic accident
Anesthesia I need you
Save me from this mental abuse
Save me from all the time i’ll spend thinking of you
Put me to sleep
I never wanna wake up
Let me take your place sow my eyes shut
I’ll never be at peace
Just leave me to grieve
I know i’ll spend the rest of my days feeling this unease
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12. |
Strange // Sadness
01:54
|
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I had nowhere to go felt lost and alone
abandoned I gave up my effort of having control
struggling to breathe the crippling disease
took everything I had right under my feet
I drowned in the sadness was buried in stress
thought a world without me would probably be best
and I thrived on the hate I hate for myself
that I had for myself
Hanging around my throat
bringing my down to lunacy
depression slipping through the seams x2
I don't know when or how this happened
always feeling trapped and stagnant
I guess I got sick of all the distractions
couldn't get used to the old me absence
and i've faced facts i'm doomed to finish last
hope for myself and everyone else is fading fast
I used to think differently I used to be someone else
I used to be vibrant before I lost myself
i'm out of touch seeing through a new pair of eyes
still continuing to live feeling dead inside
these are the things I keep buried deep
a downward spiral that isn't meant to be seen
a burden only meant for me, the struggle that unravels underneath
hold my breath and count to 10
i've lost myself in you again
let you go at my expense
i've lost the words to say now that you've gone away
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13. |
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Sickness worked its way in
Keep praying to these demons within
I always give in, in hell I dwell
Born into misery, it loves my company
Resentment it knows me best, give into it so easily (it’s) a feeling I can’t repress
Constricted lungs and a lurching gut
Latching onto this vacancy it's become my crutch
You can say i’m still built on mistakes, day by day still swallowing more than I can take
and Misery my one and only company, I guess i’m lucky someone still loves me
You can say i’m still built on mistakes, day by day still swallowing more than I can take
Sickness worked its way in
i’m right back to where I began
Praying to these demons within
I hate that they always win
Bad days and disappointment all that’s become relevant
time is moving on and I just can’t keep up with it
I’m a nobody i’m nothing special
I second guess myself i’m overwhelmed by the pressure
Trapped in this place of uncertainty
here I am empty and everything in between
Sedate this feeling that’s wasting me away
Absence of light, i’m losing faith
Unwanted and still unloved
i’ll always be convinced that i’m not good enough
All the days are starting to feel the same
and i’m afraid this is something that i’ll never shake
I’m continuing to split at the seams
All I have is emptiness and everything in between
I've been wondering where i've been
i've been wondering where I went to
we all hide behind a mask
behind closed doors you've seen what I am
and in my time alone i've come to find
forever a victim to my own mind
we are victims to our own minds
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